Any Old Time
by freakylemurcat
Summary: When it all ends in fireworks. A collection of drabbles in my Time After Time style.
1. Your Hopes On a Change In Another

**Needing/Getting – OK Go**

* * *

"You just aren't going to change," said Usagi-san, misery positively dripping from his voice. "And I should know that."

Misaki tried to scoff, but his lungs didn't seem to want to cooperate. Was this a break-up speech? Was he being dumped?

"I mean, this has gone on for years and you're no further towards accepting us and what we are, and I know I should just let you go and move on." The man clasped his hands, the cigarette pinned between his lips dipping and trembling for one heart-breaking second as Misaki realised that this was indeed a break-up speech. "But I can't forget you, Misaki, I love you. So I can't do this…" He dropped his head into his hands now, and Misaki's own fingers pressed harder to the door he'd backed himself into. "I need you to. If you want to stay, stay. But if you really don't care, please, for both our sakes…"

"Are you mad?" Misaki nearly shrieks, startling them both. "Of course, I'm fucking staying, you nutcase!"


	2. When We Collide We Come Together

**Many Of Horror – Biffy Clyro**

* * *

Perhaps Akihiko doesn't realise he's so obvious, Misaki thinks, draping himself over the balcony railing and watching the man stand on the terrace outside. But when the author thinks he's alone, or just thinks that no one's going to care, it becomes apparent just how fucked up he actually is.

It's not just the jealousy and the weird collections and the inability to cook, clean or act like a normal human. Sometimes Misaki has to remind himself he's not watching a small child, scared and hurting, unable to comprehend what's happening or what he's done wrong.

Sometimes he flinches when there's nothing there a thirty-two year old, six foot man should flinch at; when a plate or glass breaks, when someone stamps their foot, when the door slams shut. The door gets him the most, and that's what gets Misaki the most. How lonely would a child have to be that the departure of their tormentor would be a worse thing than them staying put?

He walks down the stairs and pads out to the terrace, leaning on the wall and surveying the road below. He can feel Usagi-san's eyes on his back, and mentally apologies for having to spoil the man's good mood before he says, "If you tell me about it, then maybe I can help."

"Hmm?"

He looks back and meets Akihiko's gaze. "Your past, Usagi-san."

The author chuckled dryly, even if his eyes didn't share his good humour. "You wouldn't want to have to listen to that. It's not pleasant."

"You're worth having to listen to that," said Misaki, meaning it completely. "You have to tell me, I think, otherwise we'll be separated by it." He doesn't intend to say the next thought he has out loud, but it slips out anyway. "You don't need to be lonely anymore."

This strikes a spot, and Akihiko flinches again, dropping his cigarette to the tiles at his feet. Misaki wonders if he's gone a step too far and makes to apologise, but Akihiko gets there first. "Well, you are an observant little brat, aren't you?" He steps on the smouldering butt and comes forward to drape his arm over the younger man's shoulder. "All right. If you insist."


	3. Oh, I Will Become What I Deserve

**The Fear – Ben Howard**

* * *

He spent his life being crushed and built back up with pretty promises and apologies, and in his worst moments he felt he was more tape and glue than man, shards of the person he could have been stuck together in a vague shape and left to struggle his way through the world. It had been a repeating thought when he had been a child, that somewhere out there was a version of himself that was loved and loving in return, not cold and apathetic in return to everything.

Would Misaki still have liked him then? Was the boy run by his compulsion to help? Was Akihiko only a project? – something to distract Misaki from his day to day life and to salve the wound that was his parents' deaths, that he could have done nothing then so he had to do something now?

Akihiko tells himself – no. Misaki would still love him, even if he was the most well-balanced person on the planet. Misaki's love can't be conditional on how fucked up his partner is, because Akihiko knows he's getting better and Misaki doesn't seem to love him less. He's no longer just tape and glue holding together dust, but mostly whole with bandages covering the last of his wounds. And when it all gets too much, and the past creeps up and starts to grind him down again, it's Misaki who shoos the pain away and tightens the bandages back up.


	4. What Try Anything?

**What You Know – Two Door Cinema Club**

* * *

The door's always right there. Misaki was always partially aware of it, still is in some small way, but it's never seemed like the best option in any situation. Not even when Usagi-san is being particularly perverted – because Misaki admits it now, he does kind of enjoy that -, not even when the man is at his most obstreperous and arrogant and clingy and jealous and untrusting.

No, Misaki won't take the door option because it's a stupid option. He's fixing Usagi-san, slowly but surely, and eventually he won't be a such a broken wreck anymore but a fully functioning man, no longer afraid of loneliness. Maybe eventually neither of them will be so messed up and fearful of loss anymore, and Misaki will be able to step back and try and figure out why Usagi-san seems to love him so much.


	5. Called Me Back To The Start

**Fallen Empires – Snow Patrol**

* * *

In the beginning, neither of them had ever intended to give anything up. Misaki had been determined to stay separate and above his landlord's bizarre attentions, even as he had longed for the man's touch and focus when it hadn't been on him. Akihiko had been sure he could drag the younger man closer to him, lock him in and down so no one could ever threaten this anymore.

That had changed gradually at the start, but eventually the change had stopped its slow smoulder and picked up to a raging bushfire. Misaki had welcomed Usagi-san's purring love, the chance to spend days in the man's company and just enjoying the fact that this was his lover. Akihiko's anxious jealousy had faded as he realised this, as he had realised that, unlike so many people before him, Misaki wasn't going to just up and leave. Some days they would be together for hours and hours at a time, and then maybe a few days would go by when they didn't even talk.

In the end and despite all the change, they had only given up the things they didn't really want. Misaki was still his own person but Usagi-san was still in complete possession of both of them. It shouldn't have worked, but it did.


	6. I Taste The Summer

**Summersong – The Decemberists**

* * *

With sun shining down on the city and the heat scoring into their skins, Misaki and Akihiko took advantage of the little red sports car and headed down the coast. Down turning and twisting coastal highways they went, searching for the perfect little blue bay with enough shade to protect them from the scorching sun.

Of course, the Usamis had already built a beach house on such a bay, so they didn't have to search very hard. Which was good because it meant for more time resting on the sand, enjoying the soothing rush of the water on the shore line, trading salt tinged kisses as the sun slipped beneath the edge of the waves and then making their own heat to match the scorch of the summer through the night.


	7. What You Were Born Into

**Call It What You Want – Foster the People**

* * *

"Now you're just being silly!"

"Silly? Do you just enjoy being condescending to me?"

"We don't need to do such a ridiculous thing, I'm just saying!"

"Why not though?"

"Why no- why not?! _Why not_?!"

"Exactly, why not?"

"Stop that now! You can't just fluster me like that anymore! I've grown up now!"

"Still a shortass though."

"Get your big paws off me, you sex pest!"

"Misaki… People weren't looking before, but they definitely are now."

"You! This is your fault!"

"All I suggested was you consider, maybe, just admitting you are attracted to me."

"I am not!"

"Such venom, too. Does it upset you to think you grew up wrong? That maybe you're the sole non-conformist in the whole society, attracted to a man?"

"I'm not gay!"

"Hmm. I've seen the way you watch me undo my tie, and I've seen the way you watch me when I come out of the shower wearing a towel. And I'm sure you dropped something the other day, just so I would have to bend down to pick it up, which is a trick no one's pulled on me since I was in university."

"I have done no such thing!"

"You fell asleep on my chest last night and, in case you think I haven't noticed, you've been stealthily replacing all my underwear with a different cut than I normally buy. And, of course, only two hours ago we had such steamy sex in the shower that you had to bathe yourself all over again. You see my point?"

"_Stoptalking_!"

"I'm just suggesting that you take a good look at the evidence, and maybe accept that you find me attractive."

"…."

"I'll take my shirt off, if you do?"

"Oh, haha! Arrogant bastard."


	8. And Now I Am Under All

**Never Let Me Go – Florence and the Machine**

* * *

Misaki doesn't know where the rain stops and the windows begin. It's raining so hard they might as well be underwater, clouds blocking out the sun so completely it might as well be night.

Usagi-san is out there, somewhere in that weather, and Misaki is scared. He wants to call the man and check he's all right, but what if he answers the phone and he's driving and he crashes the car?

He's lost his parents like that. To lose a lover…

Fuck. He loves Usagi-san, doesn't he?

The thought strikes him and holds him down, like gallons of water crushing his lungs, stopping him breathing, stopping him screaming out with the realisation. But past the initial fear, the initial bone-aching pain, it's calm and quiet. Yes, it's true, he loves Usagi-san and he's out in that fucking weather and he might not come home and Misaki will have to visit two graves every year and cry twice as hard when it rains.

God, he hopes he doesn't have to do that.


	9. Spring Swaps Snow For Leaves

**Winter Winds – Mumford & Sons**

* * *

That time of year comes around again, and Misaki is miserable, tears bubbling up at the slightest provocation, and all Akihiko can do is clutch to the boy's hand and do everything in his power to soothe the tears and evoke even the smallest happiness.

He's probably actually being incredibly annoying, but Misaki seems to appreciate his pathetic attempts at comfort anyway.

On the worst day of all – the actual anniversary of Misaki's parents' deaths – Misaki installs himself on the sofa in the living room and Akihiko sets up a small collection of things he might need for comfort purposes. He has boxes of tissues and headache tablets, a selection of soothing teas and sweets and cakes and a whole list of takeout menus in case his lover ever gets hungry.

He never really needs any of these things – except the tissues, obviously, and the paracetamol for his own throbbing headache. Instead all he ever has to do is sit beside Misaki for a few minutes, gradually edging closer until the younger man gets the point and curls into his flank.

"I wish they were here," Misaki sobs, and Akihiko always replies, "If I could bring them back for you, I would. I would do anything to see you happy."

"I know," sobs Misaki, wrapping his arms around Akihiko's waist, "All I need is this. You'll make me happy again, won't you?"

"I will do anything," he repeats, hugging Misaki in return, "To see you happy again."


	10. Be A Bright Red Rose

**Charlie Brown – Coldplay**

* * *

Akihiko had never realised it was this possible to be so happy. It was positively revolting, how happy he was, standing by Misaki, hands clasped in the camouflage of their coat sleeves. Above them, fireworks exploded with joyous abandon, but Akihiko couldn't take his eyes off his lover. There was no way the actual sight could be any more beautiful than it was reflected in the emerald of Misaki's wide eyes, no way the sound could be more teeth-grindingly distracting than the gasps and squeaks of amazement that escaped Misaki's mouth with each new explosion.

Eventually Misaki realised he was being watched, and turned that gaze on Akihiko. "What are you looking at, Usagi-san? You're missing the fireworks!"

Akihiko's voice was tremulous, breathy, as if his brain had forgotten the concept of speech and how to control it. "You're so _beautiful_."

Misaki opened and closed his mouth, stunned for a moment before he turned away. If Akihiko hadn't been so intent on every sound that fell from those rose pink lips he might not have heard, "Thank you, Usagi-san."

Acceptance in a sentence. Akihiko couldn't have eyes for fireworks after that.


End file.
